Gracie awakes with her familiar dramatic cry like the world is falling in at 5 30 am. She is 11 months old and doesn't sleep through the night. My fault as I have dragged her around the globe from the moment she was legally allowed to fly. At 3 months a stint in Hollywood as her mother attempted to land a hit role in a TV series during pilot week in March. My husband very accommodating and supportive obviously clearly unaware of the sheer number of actresses descending on the city for a mere handful of jobs. My husband is a business man and wonderfully naive about the acting culture. He thinks its easy. Its not.
London has been the other destination for the globe trotting Gracie at 5 months, then 10. Her mother using her family as wonderful excuse to tread the boards again. I don't mean to sound defeatist I promise I'm not but I wonder if motherhood has stripped me of hiring potential? Am I coming across too desperate? Do the milk stains seeping through my blouse give me away? Is it perhaps the fact that I am thinking of Gracie waiting for her mummy to finish being silly and come back to her and get on with it?
All of this crosses my mind as I stumble down the stairs to my beautiful little girl all rubbing of eyes and hungry animal cries. She looks like a scruffy mammal all brown hair and fists. I scoop her up and smell her in assuring her we are home now and mummy will stop being silly and concentrate on being a mummy for a wee while... till the next one is born in a matter of months.... Oh did I mention that?
Recent Comments